“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6, NIV).

I was totally surprised by her comment, “You are the only doctor I ever brag on.” She continued, “The other doctors come in and out in five minutes. They never tell you anything or let you ask questions. But, when we first came to you, you spent two hours with us.” I was mainly surprised because I remembered her first visit—with her problem being iron deficiency. I probably spent less than 30 minutes, yet she perceived two hours.

What does it take to make a patient, or friend, or child, or spouse feel like you’ve spent adequate time with them? The question is important because their perception of our time commitment is a doorway that allows us to influence them with matters of vital significance, whether it be difficult treatment strategies, or a brokenness that needs healing, or an invitation to know our Lord.

As I consider how this patient might have so overestimated my time with her, the following thoughts come to me:

1. I sincerely cared for her, and that always shows.
2. I listened more than I talked.
3. I shut my mind to the rest of my very hectic world.
4. I demonstrated commitment up close, face to face without hovering over her.
5. I touched her as I spoke to her.
6. I discussed her problem at her knowledge level, neither condescending or overly detailed.
7. I summarized our conversation and plans.
8. I asked her if she had any additional concerns.

All this can be accomplished in a few minutes, and our patient, friend or family member will perceive our time together as meaningful, no matter how much time we spend.

Such points should be common features of all my encounters with others.

Unfortunately, I just got lucky with this patient. Her comments made me realize how often I fall short of these practices when I communicate with other patients and even with those I love.

Dear Father,

Help me focus, touch, love and listen.

Amen