“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5, ESV).

I was in a tumor conference that was delayed because a resident was late in arriving. I overheard the attending physician speak sternly to him over the phone, after which I quoted a statement from Oswald Chambers, “There is no change without friction.” The attending smiled and nodded. After the conference one of my colleagues knocked on the door and asked if I had a minute. “What was that you said about change and friction? I’m going through a painfully tough relationship thing right now and wondering what God is doing.”

That’s the right question to ask when life hurts. “What is God doing?”

When we are hurt, we need to get past the “Why?” question as soon as possible and move to the more important one: “How can I work with God in this situation to bring Him glory?”

Whatever the cause of our struggle, God will place within it a plan for our good and His glory. One of the chief missions in our lives is to discover and join His plan within our struggles.

How do we do that?

It’s not a reflex action. When we suffer, we suffer. Sometimes we must rest in His arms of comfort for a bit before we can seek His plan.

It’s usually good to ask “Why?” briefly, to be sure we’ve made no mistakes we need to correct, or committed no sins for which we need to repent, or find no character flaws we need to change, or discover no systems that need fixing so others might avoid our circumstances.

However, the “Why?” is not the question we should cling to for long.

When we struggle, a painful friction changes us, and the change provides new opportunities for His glory. As He gives us strength, we should turn to the most important question: “How can I use this struggle to glorify God and grow His kingdom.?” Often this takes a friend, or small group, or pastor to guide us since our emotions remain raw.

When He lifts us above the pain to a place we can hear His calling, we must step toward His call, even as the waves of our suffering continue to splash over us, trusting His arms to keep us from drowning, and trusting His hands to lift us up and show the world how a Christian does it.

Dear Father,

I don’t think I have the faith of Paul to thank you when I suffer, but please use me through my suffering to show the world your love.

Amen