A Beautiful Mess
by Laura McLean Thomas

I miss basements!

Growing up in Colorado, then moving to Minnesota (residency), Pennsylvania (fellowship) and then back to Colorado (another fellowship) I always had a basement to rely on for storage. Now in California, where seismic activity doesn’t allow for such a luxury, I am at a loss for storage space. As a result, my walk-in closet is bursting with everything I can’t stow away in a trusty basement.

Walking into my closet there are shoes and clothes of course, but also old picture frames, a collection of costumes, a big plastic bin of mementos for each of my children, old calendars, sewing supplies, projects I have started (but never finished), holiday decorations, boxes of old photos and a bin of my dad’s things I can’t part with…and more. It has been my goal for many months now to clean it out and organize it.

When we were in training, we moved every three years (or less!), and things didn’t accumulate as much as they have now. It is hard to believe we have been in the same place for 11 years. It is the longest I have lived anywhere!

As I stand in the middle of it, feeling overwhelmed by where to start, I reach out to touch my daughter’s fluffy purple dance recital costume from when she was six. It is so little! Her sweet, excited, cherub face returns to me from that day—now she is sixteen and driving. The left-over art supplies from when my sister came and watched the kids so we could get away for a week are sitting on a shelf. I carefully fold my son’s miniature tae-kwon-do uniform, now way too small for his growing 13-year-old frame. My oldest daughter’s graduation yard sign is propped up on the wall; there are travel guides from an anniversary trip last year…

Instead of just cleaning, I end up counting my blessings. Every old home-made calendar is full of family pictures and memories. Every costume is a reminder of fun. Every precious memento, carefully stowed away in the appropriate kid’s bin, is a hug from little arms.

When all is said and done, I have a big bag of trash and three bags of items to donate. I also have a feeling of joy. Like I somehow just visited the past and relived so many memories. Like I found myself amongst the mess.

It isn’t perfect. It isn’t organized. There is a lot that other people would think was a waste of space, but my closet is a reflection of me. My beautiful mess. Full of what is important to me, what I want to save and hold on to. The years haven’t always been easy or fun. At times they have had their share of pain and grief, but when I look back, I choose to see the blessings.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8, NIV).

My closet is like my mind, a jumble of memories, emotions and ideas. Sometimes it needs to be cleaned out. Like those jeans that ruin my self-esteem, or those shoes that make my feet hurt, there are things in my mind I need to bag up and let go of. I need to take them to the One who can handle them, Who can help me heal from them.

Hurts, sorrows and bitterness will always be a part of our human mess. Yet we can choose if we are going to hold on to them, if we are going to allow them to take up space in our mind-closets. It can be a struggle. Sometimes we don’t even know how it gets in there: a memento of pain or injury ends up sitting on the shelf in our psyche creating a stronghold. Thankfully the Lord gives us the ability to demolish these strongholds and “…take captive every thought…” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV).

It is a big task, keeping unwanted junk from accumulating in our minds, but not impossible. We can do it by regularly spending time in prayer and the Word, and by spending time with our sisters in Christ who we can be honest with and can keep us accountable. We need to invite Jesus to sort through our mess with us. He knows us, loves us and embraces us as we are.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith”
(Hebrews 12:1-2a, NIV).

As we ring in 2025, let us resolve to embrace the beautiful mess we are. Let us be thankful for our past blessings. And let us resolve to spend time with the Lord daily so the hurts and disappointments of life don’t take up precious space in the new year.

Wishing you all a blessed 2025!
Laura

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Laura McLean Thomas lives with her pulmonologist husband and three teens/young adults in sunny Palm Desert, California where there are no basements and the heat melts things in the garage. She is thankful she can now walk into her walk-in-closet, and wonders where she will put all the mementos from 2025…