“In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body…but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life…” (Romans 6:11-13, NIV).

I was seeing him for advanced prostate cancer that may have been caused by his Agent Orange exposure as a marine in Vietnam. He showed me a scar on his right hand from an enemy machete, received when manning a machine gun in combat: “After two years of seeing body parts of my buddies blown away, I broke down. I received an honorable discharge but discovered I couldn’t get a government job because an SPN number was attached to my record. That’s a number that adds hidden information about you. It took me 50 years to get my disability approved for the wounds I received in the war.”

We all have an SPN number attached to our lives that describes who we really are, at least I do. The image we present to the world may be as honorable as this veteran’s discharge papers, but we know (and God sees) the hidden message that describes our true nature. SPN (Separation Program Numbers) in the military describe the circumstances of your discharge. SPN in my life describe what separates me from God.

I prefer to depict my life in the way people present themselves on social media or dating apps, always a bit more perfect than I am. And there is nothing really wrong with presenting our best side for the world’s camera—unless it is untrue, and I start believing it. God sees my SPN number, and sometimes He lets me read it as well.

Jesus put it this way: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly” (Mark 7:20-22, NIV).

I can think of at least one of these sins coming out of my heart in the last week. Even more than that, “sin” is not just something I do, sin is “a deep interior dislocation at the very center of human personality,” as Dorothy Sayers wrote in Creed or Chaos: Why Christians Must Choose either Dogma or Disaster. I am not a sinner because I do bad things; I do bad things because I am a sinner (which is described more fully in The Crucifixion by Fleming Rutledge). The world may not see it, but it’s right there in my SPN number assigned at birth. God sees it, and it affects the way I carry out His mission for my life.

So, what can I do about it?

1. Trust (Proverbs 3:5-6)
2. Obey (John 14:23)
3. Abide (John 15:5)
4. Remember—The last word in my life will not be “sin” but “grace” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Dear Father,

You know me, and yet you love me. Please help me “…make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace” with you (2 Peter 3:14, NIV).

Amen