“The Lord said to me, ‘Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress…’” (Hosea 3:1, NIV).

I had managed his care for seven years. His blood disease would come under control with appropriate medicine, but then he would relapse with his drug addiction, and his health would unwind. Each time he started over, it was more difficult for me. He was someone to whom I had devoted myself with a special level of concern and prayer. He had lost his family due to his addictions and was intermittently homeless. I would hand him a cold drink and breakfast bar each time he came for an appointment. The last time in my office, it seemed he might make it—disease controlled, away from drugs, stable housing—but now he was admitted again for drug relapse. It was getting more and more painful for me each time I helped him start over.

It hurts to give someone “second chances,” especially with the “12th or 13th chance,” repeatedly raising our hopes to watch them dashed again. A number of people have felt it with their children, or with addicted loved ones, or with someone who has failed them over and over—the pain of the repeated crash, the heavy weight of starting over with a new hope that cannot forget the past.

Offering “second chances,” especially repeated “second chances,” requires sacrifice that is greater than passive forgiveness.

Passive forgiveness says, “You hurt me, and I will not hold it against you.”  Passive forgiveness is hard enough, often incredibly painful and costly, sometimes impossible. However, “second chances” require even more. “Second chances” begin with the pain of passive forgiveness and then add active love. Active love with “second chances” says: “I am betting on your success and will work to help you get there, even though I know you may fail and hurt me again.” Offering “second chances” requires a courage that faces an uncertain future, demands the energy to assist with the incredibly difficult, releases the comfort of blame (it’s his fault; I don’t have to go there again) and realizes the pain that may come again with failure.

Offering “second chances” hurts. Nevertheless, that’s what God did over and over again with the people of Israel. And thank God, that’s what He does over and over with me.

As a Christian, offering “second chances” is not a choice; instead, it’s a duty, a duty to follow Christ, a duty described by Jean Valjean in Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables:

“If we wish to be happy, monsieur, we must never comprehend duty; for, as soon as we comprehend it, it is implacable. One would say that it punishes you for comprehending it; but no, it rewards you for it; for it puts you into a hell where you feel God at your side.”

Dear Father,

Thank you for my second chance in Christ, and for “second chances” throughout my life. Let me do likewise for those you love.

Amen